The Story of Noah's Ark - Canadian Version

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The Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Canada, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another ark and save two of every living thing, along with a few Good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
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Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard, but no Ark. "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a Sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a Decision."

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"Then Transport Canada and the Departments of Highways and Hydro demanded a Bond be posted for the future costs of moving power, trolley and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."
"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!"
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"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space."
"Then Environment Canada ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood."

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"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience."
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"To make matters worse, the Canada Customs and Revenue Agency seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."
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Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"  "No", said the Lord. "The Canadian government beat me to it!"

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CNN Cable News Prefers Atlantic Canada

Jordana Divon wrote in Daily Brew:

For all its great beauty and charm, Canada's Maritime region has not traditionally pulled the same numbers as tourist hotspots like Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal. This year, however, it could all change—at least if CNN has something to say about it. The popular cable news network revealed its 2012 list of the world's leading travel destinations, among which Atlantic Canada figures prominently.


A panel of travel experts cited the area's roster of upcoming milestones and events as reason alone to check it out.  "The region will be in the spotlight next year as it commemorates its connection to the Titanic and the 100th anniversary of the ship's sinking," the article states.

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Halifax happened to be the closest major port when, on April 14, 1912, the fabled luxury liner crashed into an iceberg off the Newfoundland coast and began to sink. Three boats were dispatched to recover victims, while a number of passengers who did not survive were buried in Halifax cemeteries.
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As Budget Travel reports:
Halifax will recognize its role in the event with a host of concerts, a town parade and a film festival. The Maritime Museum of the Atlantic will also mount a special exhibit paying tribute to the individuals involved in the recovery efforts.

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Not Only for History Buffs:
Other highlighted features include a wealth of opportunity for outdoorsy types—everything from scenic kayaking around Prince Edward Island to whale watching on the Bay of Fundy.  For budget-conscious travelers, the site notes that Halifax, along with Charlottetown and Fredericton, topped the list of the least expensive Canadian cities in 2011 on Hotels.com.

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